Saturday, March 7, 2015

Unfunny Clown

Originally published in The Weekend Australian, March 7-8, 2015

Shortly before he went to trial, the Norwegian terrorist and mass murderer Anders Breivik assured a psychiatrist that he was an essentially respectable character. Leaving aside a “window of three hours” on July 22nd, 2011, Breivik explained, he had never behaved threateningly to anyone. Inside that window, on the other hand, he murdered seventy-seven people. He began by detonating a van-bomb outside a government building in Oslo, killing eight. He then proceeded to the small island of Utøya, where the youth wing of the Labour Party was holding its annual summer camp. There, using semi-automatic firearms equipped with laser sights, Breivik slaughtered sixty-nine further victims, most of them teenagers. Then he surrendered, so he could proceed to inform the world about his political motives. When the police made him strip, to confirm he wasn’t wired with a bomb, he grinned and struck a bodybuilder’s pose in his underpants. 

The prospect of spending 500 pages in the company of such a man is not tantalizing. But the Norwegian journalist Åsne Seierstad, whose previous works include The Bookseller of Kabul, has written an account of the Breivik case that magisterially transcends its limited and squalid central figure. Like Evil Angels, like In Cold Blood, this is far more than just a crime book. It’s a book about the whole of modern Norway. 

No evocation of Breivik’s context, though, could be thorough enough to explain, finally, why he did what he did. Even Breivik – especially Breivik – doesn’t seem to understand that. The 1,500-page manifesto he cobbled together in the months preceding the atrocity established only that the world of ideas was one of the many worlds in which he was not at home. He claimed to be worried about the “Islamisation of Europe,” but had a sneaking admiration for the methods and ideological purity of al-Qaeda. Plagiarising from a hodge-podge of incompatible sources, he sought to denounce Islam from the left and the far-right simultaneously. It bothered him that some Muslim immigrants found modern Norway decadent, even though he found it decadent too. He complained that Muslims didn’t respect Norway’s commitment to women’s rights, even though he bitterly resented that commitment himself. Part of his original plan, indeed, was to get to Utøya in time to behead the veteran feminist and Labourite Gro Harlem Brundtland, who had served as Norway’s first female Prime Minister, and was scheduled to speak on the island that morning. In the event, Brundtland had already left the island by the time Breivik arrived. 

The authentic Breivik, inasmuch as he existed at all, was a fascist. His methods made that obvious enough, and the zanier parts of his manifesto confirmed it. He didn’t really want Muslims to fit into modern Norway. He wanted to convert them to Christianity, forcibly. He wanted to deport those who didn’t comply. He wanted to establish off-shore breeding facilities where surrogate mothers would pump out blue-eyed babies to replenish the Nordic gene pool.

Seierstad's account of Breivik’s decline into monomania is intercut with the stories of some of the bright young Norwegians who had the foul luck to collide with his madness on Utøya. The most heartbreaking of these stories is that of Bano Rashid, an 18-year-old Muslim girl whose refugee parents had fled to Norway from Iraqi Kurdistan in order to get away from gun-toting men with extreme views. Bano grew up idolising Gro, the trailblazing Norwegian feminist whom Breivik planned to decapitate. Like her heroine, Bano was passionate about women’s rights. She dreamed of becoming Norway’s Minister for Equality. Her story might have been invented to prove the point that a Muslim can be at least as committed to so-called Western values as most Westerners are.

On the morning of the massacre Bano woke up sick, but insisted on travelling to the island to hear Gro speak. A few hours later, Breivik turned up. Seierstad’s fifty-page reconstruction of his rampage is meticulously researched, and almost unbearable to read. When the shooting started, Bano and her fellow campers were able to guess roughly what was happening. Somebody was hunting them down, and picking them off one by one. But who? Survivors would say that several possibilities occurred to them. Maybe it was Neo-Nazis, or al-Qaeda, or agents of Colonel Gaddafi ... 

But nobody’s imagination could possibly have been vivid enough to hit on the identity of the true culprit – the unfunny clown in his fake police outfit, with a homemade patch on the arm that said “Multiculti Traitor Hunting Permit.”

A theme ran through Breivik’s life: the theme of the hollow shell, of appearance unaccompanied by content. “He’s so ambitious,” one of his friends said, “but sort of empty at the same time.” He dropped out of school with plans to become a millionaire, but had no special thoughts about how he would make his money. He set up an online business that sold fake diplomas. Like the hero of American Psycho, he was fastidious about his looks, his body, his clothes – his Lacoste jersey, his Ralph Lauren shirts. He had a nosejob in his early twenties. He contemplated a hair transplant at the same time. He wore foundation. At one point in his manifesto he makes reference to his favourite cologne – Chanel Egoiste.

At the age of twenty-seven, the self-styled Übermensch moved back in with his mother. He spent endless hours locked in his room, playing World of Warcraft and Call of Duty. An attempt to marry a blue-eyed Internet bride from Minsk went awry, after the lady had spent enough time in Norway to find out what Breivik was really like. Here and elsewhere Breivik bears a passing resemblance to Lee Harvey Oswald, who actually did marry a woman from Minsk, but was ditched by her once she'd got a full load of his repellent personality.    

Serially rejected by the real world, Breivik began work on his slapdash manifesto. When that masterwork was complete, it wasn't long before he found himself starring in the first scene of his life where he felt fully potent and in charge: in the bomb lab on the rented farm, in his boiler suit, sweating over the vat of bubbling sulfur.

If we want to understand Breivik's motives, such as they were, the question of timing is important. Breivik himself has said that he began planning his atrocity as early as 2002. But Seierstad finds no evidence that his plot pre-dated the early months of 2011, when he started shopping for guns and bomb ingredients. There is good reason, in other words, to doubt Breivik’s claim that his “operation” grew out of a long period of meditation on Europe’s ills. It seems far likelier that he was already a deeply alienated and resentful man, by the time he embraced his half-baked racist ideology. Adopting that ideology made him more resentful and alienated still. Like many another terrorist, he gets you thinking about the symbiotic connection between extreme political beliefs and the rage of the thwarted male. 

“Was he a mad, or was he a political terrorist?” The question runs through Seierstad’s book like a leitmotif. But that distinction seems false, when a person’s political beliefs are mad in themselves. Breivik’s patently were. In his wilder fantasies he saw himself as a member of the medieval Knights Templar. He wanted to wind back the clock to the Crusades, just as his notional enemies at al-Qaeda do. At Breivik's trial, a medical expert testified that “we have too little psychiatric theory,” at the moment, to be able to say with confidence where political fanaticism ends, and where mental illness begins. Apparently this is a growth area in psychiatry.

Breivik himself wanted to be tried and sentenced as a sane “political activist.” The prosecution, reversing the normal order of things, argued for a finding of insanity. “His political world exists just to have a world to be psychotic in,” one psychiatrist testified. But Breivik’s lawyers cited an interesting technicality. For a subject to qualify as psychotic, his delusions must be “culturally inappropriate.” And Breivik’s, they argued, were not, since a sizable online subculture of other people believed them too. The court was persuaded by such arguments, and it deemed Breivik legally sane. In the internet age, it may be getting increasingly hard to qualify as delusional. 

But Seierstad doesn't go into the broader implications of the Breivik case. She confines herself to the facts, which she lays out in a scrupulous and harrowing way, and with a fine eye for the unforgettable detail. When the injured children were being ferried off Utøya, they were urged not to look back at the body-littered shore. “Some looked anyway, and screamed.” As night fell on the island, mobile phones continued to ring and light up near the dead bodies, each screen displaying the word Mum.

But one moment in the book is perhaps more eloquent than all the rest. The brother of one of Breivik's victims, sick of hearing politicians glibly affirm that Norway has triumphed over evil, says: “I shall never win over anyone as long as I’m a little brother short.” In the larger sense, Norwegian culture clearly has survived Breivik’s attack on it – Seierstad’s fine book is one proof of that. Like New York before it, like Paris after it, Norway has absorbed the act of barbarism and moved on. It was always going to. In that respect terrorism is futile. But even as it fails to win, terrorism inflicts losses. And each life it takes is irreplaceable. Seierstad doesn’t let us forget that fact either.   



Saturday, November 22, 2014

A barrage of blows

Originally published in The Weekend Australian, Nov. 22-23, 2014

What can you say about Molly Meldrum that hasn’t already been said, less eloquently, by the man himself? Not much, was always the answer. Now, with the appearance of his genially candid and self-deprecating autobiography, Molly has put even more of himself out there than was out already. Like its author, the book is impossible to dislike. Showbiz is rife with people who claim not to take themselves seriously but really do. Molly really doesn’t. In a celebrity memoirist – in a memoirist of any stripe – this is a rare quality. 

The book, we are told, has been in the works since 1979, and has passed through the hands of several ghost writers along the way. No doubt that’s why it feels a bit all over the place structurally. It jumps around in time a lot. Molly’s narrative is constantly being interrupted by quotations, of varying relevance, from other industry figures. (“I will never forget the encouraging smile of Molly,” Plastic Bertrand breaks in to inform us at one point.) Important things are mentioned only once or twice. We hear very little about the head injury that nearly killed the author in late 2011. His childhood is skimped. His mother appears in the index only once, which is one less time than Wa Wa Nee. 

Then again, who would want to read a straight-faced autobiography of Molly Meldrum? Skimming over the stuff about short pants and personal demons, Molly gives us the full scoop on the Countdown years. Few readers will be disappointed by this emphasis. The book is rich with behind-the-scenes lore and gore. Elton John chucks a tanty, not unreasonably, when Molly implies that Hall & Oates are a superior live act. The guy from The Human League, suffering from toothache, throws a Cherry Ripe at a fan in the ABC canteen. Iggy Pop terrifies a studio full of schoolgirls by ramming a mike down his already thoroughly occupied trousers. 

Come to think of it, that last incident did not occur behind the scenes. It happened in the full gaze of the Countdown cameras. So did a lot of other surreal and spontaneous things. That was the charm of Molly’s show: the songs may have been mimed, but the action had a potential for chaos that was well worth tuning in for. 

Considering his verbal abilities, it comes as small surprise to learn that Molly was never meant to be Countdown’s host. He was hired to be its talent co-ordinator. He landed in front of the camera by accident, and accident became the keynote of his career. The audience seemed to like his naturalness, not to say his incompetence. His signature method of endorsing product – “do yourself a favour” – evolved as a sly way of getting around the ABC’s strict ban on advertising.

Mind you, he uttered that catchphrase when holding up many a dud piece of wax. His enthusiasm, at times, seemed so all-encompassing as to be meaningless. But Molly has heard this complaint before. He’s heard a lot of complaints before. To prove it, he generously repeats, in the pages of this book, some of the harshest things his detractors have ever said about him. A magazine writer alleges that Molly has “no obvious talent.” The late guitarist Lobby Loyde calls Countdown “the death of music … definite Satan land … a shit show … the beginning of the fucking end.” 

It’s a measure of Molly’s sheer good humour that he will quote such stuff in his own memoir. He offers some persuasive comebacks, too. Did he like pretty much everything he played? Yes, but he only had an hour to fill each week. Why fill it with stuff he didn’t care for? Did Countdown put the emphasis on pop, if not pap? Yes, but the show was aimed at kids. If you could get youngsters into the lightweight stuff, Molly felt, there was a fair chance they’d get into the better stuff later on. That is surely a valid point. Taste matures. The thing to acquire early on is passion.

As a poster-boy for that, Molly was the always right choice. He’s been a man of immoderate enthusiasms since his youth. During the Beatles’ tour of 1964 he contracted an alarming case of Beatlemania. At one of their Festival Hall shows, just before Paul launched into “Long Tall Sally,” Molly went so ape that security had to throw him out. A couple of years later, his beloved St Kilda won their first and only premiership flag. Molly was there, but he wasn’t conscious. He had fainted a minute before the final siren. 

If Molly wasn’t Molly, one would take that anecdote with a grain of salt. But we know, from years of video evidence, that the guy doesn’t do things by halves. Consider his notorious train-wreck of an interview with Prince Charles, which took place in 1977. Molly was an ardent Royalist. Moreover, the occasion required him to memorise a Palace-approved script, and memorisation had never been his bag. As a consequence, he got nervous. Not just nervous, but cartoon nervous. He looked like the world’s hammiest actor portraying the quality of nervousness in a game of charades. 

Molly’s written account of this incident makes you wish he were as good at evoking disasters as he was at causing them. We’re told that he breached protocol by referring to the Prince’s “mum.” “Prince Charles corrected me: ‘You mean Her Majesty The Queen.’” This, Molly seems to think, was a big deal. But we have to take his word for it, because he forgets, a bit crucially, to tell us what tone of voice Charles corrected him in. Was the Prince outraged, or more amused than annoyed? Or was he not annoyed at all? Is Molly playing up the exchange to make it seem worse than it really was? It’s hard to tell. Sometimes detail is everything. Without it, a world-class anecdote can fall flat. 

Molly isn’t always so deaf to the eloquent detail. Writing about his childhood, he recalls, touchingly, that he liked going to a friend’s house because the friend had AktaVite, which Molly’s family couldn’t afford. That is the sort of particular that brings you closer to a writer. Unfortunately Molly tends to shelve his relish for specifics when talking about his encounters with the famous. “A highlight for me was getting to talk with one of my heroes, The Beatles’ producer Sir George Martin.” Yes, but what did you talk about? The White Album? The weather? If Molly can remember, he doesn’t let on. Sir George’s cameo ends there, as if the presence of the big name is interesting in itself. No doubt it was, if you were there. 

Jeff Jenkins, Molly’s officially credited ghost, must have faced a dilemma when hammering Molly’s reminiscences into shape. Clearly, he couldn’t knock off too many rough edges, or add pertinence at every turn. Prose Molly still had to sound like the real Molly, within reason. And on the whole he does. He tells his stories the way he tells them on TV: with gusto, but with a tendency, like Shakespeare’s Kent, to mar a curious tale in telling it. 

This is a recurrent feature of celeb literature, and indeed of life in general. The people to whom the most interesting things happen are rarely the same people who know how to tell a good story. Most of us, if we got into a fistfight with Johnny Rotten, would memorise the encounter in incredible detail. We would hone it into our premier anecdote; we would burnish it with each telling. Molly, who really does claim to have gone toe-to-toe with Rotten, describes the moment in disappointingly vague terms. “I unleashed a barrage of blows on Rotten.” Okay, but what was Rotten doing? Screaming? Bleeding? Fighting back? There is an art to making unlikely things sound as if they really happened. 

But odd stuff happens to Molly so often that he doesn’t seem to realise how odd it is. It has been a big and improbable life. His enthusiasm and his large-heartedness seem improbable too, so over-the-top that they can’t possibly be real. But they are, and they make you forgive him for shortcomings you’d deplore if he was anybody else. Okay, so he’s a bit of a name-dropper. He has a weakness for pranks, double entendres, and other less advanced forms of humour. He enjoys the company of people who quip that they have never turned right when boarding an aeroplane. 

Why are we inclined to give Molly a free pass on these things? Is it love? Yes, why not admit it? It would be unpatriotic not to love the guy. He takes some of the better elements of the national character – lack of pretension, a love of simple pleasures – and cranks them up to eleven. He’s not a genius, but he’s never claimed to be. He’s never claimed to be anything he’s not. He started being affably unsecretive about his sexuality – “I’m bisexual,” he confirms at one point – in an era when that could be career suicide. If it isn’t any more, that’s largely because of the bravery of people like him. He’s part of the family. We grew up with him. If he’s never entirely grown up himself, who would want it any other way?

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Writing is Hell

The Paris Review Interviews: Volume 4, Canongate


INTERVIEWER
Describe your reading practice. Did you read this book sitting up or lying down?

REVIEWER
I prefer to read at the end of the day, semi-recumbently.

INTERVIEWER
You read on a bed?

REVIEWER
Or a couch, yes.

INTERVIEWER
Do you use a tri pillow?

REVIEWER
Generally not. I prefer the organic feel of multiple stacked pillows. It feels less artificial to me. There’s a kind of primitiveness in it that aids the reading process.

INTERVIEWER
Do you hold the book in both hands?

REVIEWER
No. I use my left hand to grip the spine, generally at the book’s base. I use my left thumb for stabilisation, letting the tip of it splay rightward to within a millimetre or two of the text itself. This keeps my right hand free to turn the pages, which I prefer to do from the bottom corner. 

INTERVIEWER
Do you have any reading rituals? Paul Valéry used to adjust his gonads while reading. Joyce Carol Oates likes to get some “sounds” going on the stereo.

REVIEWER
I do like to have a bit of a “feed bag” going. Kool Fruits, chips – anything small.  

INTERVIEWER
Can you describe the contents of this book?

REVIEWER
It contains sixteen interviews conducted by the Paris Review. The subjects are all writers. Some of the interviews have been dug out from deep in the magazine’s archives, while some were done as recently as 2008. So we get long-dead figures like Ezra Pound alongside writers so contemporary that I bet you’ve never heard of them. 

INTERVIEWER
Let’s talk about some of the interviews. How did you approach the interview with Maya Angelou?

REVIEWER
Gingerly, having noted that it was prefaced by a draft of Angelou’s ode to Oprah Winfrey.

INTERVIEWER
And what about the interview itself?

REVIEWER
On its first page I encountered the following two sentences, spoken by Ms Angelou: “I’m working at trying to be a Christian and that’s serious business. It’s like trying to be a good Jew, a good Muslim, a good Buddhist, a good Shintoist, a good Zoroastrian, a good friend, a good lover, a good mother, a good buddy – it’s serious business.” At this point I used the fingertips of my right hand to locate the terminal page of the interview. Then, bringing my wrist into play, I swept the intervening “chunk” of pages briskly from right to left.   

INTERVIEWER
You’re a skipper?

REVIEWER
When provoked.

INTERVIEWER
Let’s talk about some of the other interviewees. Marianne Moore, E. B. White, John Ashbery, Haruki Murakami, Orhan Pamuk, David Grossman, Marilynne Robinson … Why did you cough nervously just then?

REVIEWER
Er …

INTERVIEWER
Dear God. You’ve never read any of these people’s work, have you?

REVIEWER
But you should see all the other books I’ve read.

INTERVIEWER
You’re a monster.

REVIEWER
I’d prefer to say that the people interviewed in this book constitute a veritable laundry list of writers I’ve never read or wanted to read. I have, however, read a few of the people in here. 

INTERVIEWER
Such as?

REVIEWER
P. G. Wodehouse. William Styron. Philip Roth. Paul Auster.

INTERVIEWER
What did you make of the Auster interview?

REVIEWER
You may recall that I’m not all that keen on Auster’s work. As a result, I’ve never particularly wanted to be told how many drafts the man does, or at what point he switches from the quadrille notebook to the Olympia typewriter. It’s like reading the dietary secrets of someone you secretly consider to be a bit flabby. It’s like reading how many press-ups Kevin Rudd does each morning.

INTERVIEWER
What about the Philip Roth interview?

REVIEWER
The Roth interview dates from 1984, and I first read it a long time ago. As a young writer I was deeply encouraged to learn that even people like Roth have to struggle hard to get things written. “I often have to write a hundred pages or more before there’s a paragraph that’s alive,” Roth says. One of the general messages of the Paris Review interviews is that even the best writers find writing a wickedly hard business. This may be why a lot of reviewers like and recommend these compilation volumes. Reviewers are writers too, and these books can make a writer feel less alone. Whether they’re of similar interest to the general reader I’m not sure. 

INTERVIEWER
I’m sensing you have some reservations about this book.

REVIEWER
Yes. There’s an American-ness about it that I was frequently irritated by. Remember that the Paris Review is largely an American operation, in spite of its name. Its interview compilations are disproportionately stacked with American writers, of massively discrepant worth. Volume Two of this series gave a guernsey to Stephen King, for example.

INTERVIEWER
Would you care to fashion this into a whopping generalisation?

REVIEWER
I’ll try. Americans venerate their writers, as they venerate their stars in any field. In a way this is healthier than the Anglo-Australian tendency to reward excellence with open scorn. But lack of scepticism has its hazards. Americans can be too ready to accord shamanic or oracular status to any person who writes for a living, irrespective of the merits of the work. During certain interviews in this book, you find yourself wishing that at least one of the parties involved had been born with a sense of irony. The fifty-page interview with Jack Kerouac is a hefty example. By the end of it Kerouac is either drunk or else in an unusually rambling mood even by his standards. Yet everything he says or does is faithfully transcribed, regardless of its fatuity. He picks up a harmonica, he plays the piano, he knocks the microphone off the stool.

INTERVIEWER
You don’t believe that getting drunk all the time can play a vital role in the creative process?

REVIEWER
No, but some of these interviews come from an era when that idea was in the air. William Styron, interviewed in Paris in 1954, reveals that he gets drunk every night, sleeps in late every morning, and writes in the afternoons with a hangover – which all sounds very manly and Hemingwayesque. But read Styron’s much later memoir Darkness Visible to find out what happened to his mind when he tried to stop drinking. It’s one of the most frightening books I’ve ever read.

INTERVIEWER
So what interviews did you like?

REVIEWER
The one with Stephen Sondheim is a standout. When someone as illuminating as Sondheim is talking, the Paris Review’s readiness to listen at length is invaluable. Sondheim is fascinatingly specific about the nuts and bolts of songwriting: how hard it is to find rhymes for the word “life”; why the 1943 Roget’s thesaurus is preferable to all other editions. He is a superb demystifier. “Art is craft,” he says, “not inspiration.” P. G. Wodehouse has some similarly tradesmanlike things to say about the mechanics of plot construction. As a rule, these interviews are at their most instructive when their subjects are talking about points of technique. When, on the other hand, the interviewees are encouraged to riff on metaphysical questions, the results seem to me far less compelling.

INTERVIEWER
Encouraged?

REVIEWER
Yes. At its worst this book has a whiff of piety about it. I don’t just mean that the interviewers can be unduly reverent about the people they’re interviewing. I mean that some of the writers in these pages are encouraged to air, without a hint of reticence or modesty, the details of their not very remarkable religious convictions. This too seems a very American transaction. 

INTERVIEWER
You’re talking about Maya Angelou?

REVIEWER
Not just her. Marilynne Robinson also has some very boring things to say about the nature of her faith. Not content to leave it at that, she takes a rather banal swipe at the New Atheists. She accuses Richard Dawkins of being “naïve” about contemporary science; she ludicrously implies that he, Dawkins, might not be entirely aware of the latest developments in quantum physics; and she leaves it to be inferred that these developments might somehow lend weight to her own belief in the Gospels. These are the kind of feeble arguments you’d expect to hear from an incensed person of faith giving Dawkins a one-star roasting on Amazon. A serious writer who wants to put a dent in Dawkins’s arguments should really address them properly – i.e. write about them at length. Robinson, looking to trounce him with a couple of specious one-liners, inadvertently demonstrates the limits of the interview form. Speech is a crude instrument, and beyond a certain point it will no longer do: you begin to need writing to do justice to the complexity of things. Maybe that’s why writers are moved to start writing in the first place – because off-the-cuff speech has become inadequate to their needs.  

INTERVIEWER
Does that mean that you’ll be running out to buy some of Marilynne Robinson’s books?

REVIEWER
I didn’t say that.

INTERVIEWER
A final question. Faulkner has said of writers, “All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection.” Would you put yourself in this category?

REVIEWER
No.


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Still the King

Singer Elvis Presley performing in Providence, Rhode Island, in 1977, three months before
Originally published in The Weekend Australian, August 16-17, 2014 

Today is the 37th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death. He was only 42 when he died, so pretty soon he will have been dead for longer than he was alive. Already he has receded so far from living memory that it’s become hard to talk sense about him. That doesn’t mean, of course, that people have stopped talking about him altogether. Quite the reverse. The fog of chatter that envelops him keeps getting thicker. The man can hardly be discerned through the haze of impersonations, pop allusions, Warhol prints, “sightings”, mash-ups, remixes. 

Do we need to talk about him more? Yes, provided we can find a way of slicing through all that image-related static and reminding ourselves that there was a real human being behind it. We have become strangely callous on the subject of Elvis. For a man who brought a lot of people a lot of pleasure, and whose worst sins were committed against his own body, he certainly cops a lot of posthumous stick. We joke cynically about fat Elvis, Vegas Elvis, dead-on-the-can-with-a-cheeseburger Elvis. What other man in history has taken so much flak for letting himself go? 

Perhaps we cling to the clichés to shield ourselves from the magnitude of his tragedy. Here was a perfectly healthy man who reduced himself to a bed-wetting zombie, and finally a corpse, by taking pills he never needed to take. He started with uppers, thinking them a harmless way to stay energised and trim. When they played havoc with his sleep he started taking downers too. Finally he was on a complex cocktail that rendered him variously narcoleptic, insomniac, constipated and incontinent. Between doses he had to be roused from bed like a child and led to the toilet by a member of his entourage. He couldn’t be left alone while eating, lest he should doze off and choke to death in the middle of a mouthful. 

All this is sad enough before we factor in the man’s talent, which was seismic. If Elvis wasn’t the most charismatic performer in the history of popular music, who was? Of course he had his limitations, especially when we judge him from the wrong angle – retrospectively, according to standards of rock credibility that didn’t prevail when he was alive. He didn’t write his own stuff, for example. He wasted a lot of time making disposable movies: the critic Pauline Kael said his films “ranged from mediocre to putrid.” He conspicuously wasn’t his own boss. He let his manager, Colonel Tom Parker, make all his career decisions for him, and they invariably prioritised cash over quality. But put Elvis behind a mike, especially on stage, and he had powers that could blow all these quibbles off the table. 

Dylan Jones, editor of the British version of GQ magazine, has written a book about Elvis whose title Elvis Has Left the Building – provides fair warning about the nature of the author’s interests. Elvis is as absent from this book as he is present in it. What Jones mainly wants to talk about is Elvis’s posthumous resonance – which, you might think, has been talked about quite enough already. But as the reader of this book will rapidly discover, Jones has no aversion to saying things you can’t possibly not have heard before. “For many, Vegas Elvis was already Dead Elvis.” “In truth he was actually the first fake Elvis.” “The cult of Elvis is rather closer to a religion than anyone previously imagined.” Surely we don’t need to hear these platitudes one more time, unless Jones proposes to pursue or question them. For the most part he doesn’t. His book has a restless, endlessly digressive texture that repels second thoughts. He keeps using Elvis as a springboard to talk about other things. 

Admittedly Jones knows a lot of tenuously Elvis-related stuff. He knows that the lead singer of the Troggs renamed himself Reg Presley in Elvis’s honour. That is mildly interesting, but does it mean we need a two-paragraph transcript of the Troggs swearing at each other in a music studio? Probably not, but Jones provides one anyway. We are informed, moreover, that Paul McCartney was in the habit of referring to Reg Presley as Reg Trogg. By now the link back to Elvis verges on non-existent, although Jones would no doubt prefer us to think of it as playfully tangential. 

With Elvis, there is a genuine mystery to be probed. What exactly was the nature of his magnetism? What was the thing he had that nobody before or since has come close to having? Unfortunately Jones is more interested in Elvis’s image than in the talents that caused him to acquire an image in the first place. Only in his last and best chapter, where he provides an astute run-down of his fifty favourite Elvis recordings, does Jones make a sustained effort to transfer his attention from the sizzle to the steak. Until then he is mainly content to circle Elvis in an archly post-modern way – or an irritatingly surface-obsessed way, depending on your taste. A couple of times he departs from reality altogether, and indulges in bizarre prose-poem fantasies about things that never happened but can nonetheless be imagined. What if Elvis had lived long enough to embrace disco? What if he’d let his image turn all dark and edgy? That one goes on for nine pages. 

Jones’s central theme, which he frequently strays from, is the relationship between Elvis and punk. The month in which Elvis died, says Jones, was also “the month of punk’s apotheosis.” This nexus was not accidental. Punk rockers were in revolt against excess and pomp, and the later Elvis was nothing if not over the top. Jones, who grew up with punk, approves of both it and Elvis, and would like to believe the two things were not wholly antithetical. He reports that Joe Strummer of the Clash was once photographed wearing an Elvis T-shirt. More pertinently, he reminds us that the font on the cover of London Calling was a “deliberate homage” to the design of Elvis’s first LP. 

But Elvis can’t be reconciled with punk for long, especially once you start talking about that genre's more zealously horrible practitioners. “He came to represent everything we’re trying to react against,” said Johnny Rotten in 1977. “Elvis was dead before he died, and his gut was so big it cast a shadow over rock’n’roll in the last few years. Our music is what’s important now.” 

At moments like this we must choose sides, and Rotten makes the choice fairly easy. If we hesitate even slightly before making it, it can’t be because the Sex Pistols’ oeuvre makes us think twice about Elvis’s. It must be because punk’s rather yobbish value system, which puts “authenticity” ahead of things like showmanship and being able to sing well, remains to some extent in fashion. Jones, to his credit, doesn’t over-rate punk as strenuously as a lot of aging rock critics do. He pokes fun at its childish obsession with street cred. He points out that Strummer, the “son of a diplomat,” strategically roughened his posh accent until he sounded as if “he’d been brought up in the docks.” 

But when push comes to shove, Jones is more comfortable being sceptical about Elvis than about punk. Thus we are told that Elvis’s concerts, by 1977, had “become tragic-comic spectacles” at which the decrepit King did little more than “milk his crowd like a prize fighter.” The implication is that the fans who turned up to see the later Elvis were deluding themselves, while the youths who jammed into fetid English clubs in order to be spat on by louts who could barely play their instruments were on to something vital. This view is open to question, to say the least. But Jones doesn’t question it very far, because he can’t bring himself to be fully heretical about punk. 

“Fuckin’ good riddance to bad rubbish,” said Johnny Rotten, when invited to comment on Presley’s death. There is more in that than a rejection of Vegas-style excess. There is outright nihilism: the resentment of the pygmy for the giant. This spirit culminates in Sid Vicious’s sociopathic cover version of “My Way”, in which one hears the tones not merely of the cretin but of the vandal. Jones quotes the Pistols’ manager, Malcolm McLaren, as saying that punk succeeded because it “made ugliness beautiful.” But nothing can do that, because beauty is not merely a matter of style. All punk did was make repulsiveness fashionable, for a while. 

Elvis, on the other hand, had qualities that transcended fad and trend. For one thing he had charisma. It’s a hard quality to define, but roughly speaking it’s the opposite of the force that emanated from Sid Vicious. Nor is it irrelevant to observe that Elvis was a ludicrously good-looking man. The fact is plain, even to a straight male. Nothing could negate or conceal it, not even the ridiculous capes and flares and jumpsuits he chose to swathe himself in towards the end. Beauty isn’t fair or just, and you can see why the punks revolted against the very concept of it. But no amount of revisionist theorizing will ever make Johnny Rotten, let alone Sid Vicious, as acceptable to look at as the young Elvis. If ever there was an empty signifier in rock, it was Vicious: devoid of any quality except nastiness, he got famous only because vileness was temporarily in style. 

If Jones had pursued his promising theme to the hilt, he might have concluded that Elvis, whatever the punks managed to throw at him, had a nuke-sized weapon in his arsenal that rendered him untouchable, indeed immortal. He had talent, which really is a thing. You can’t watch Elvis in action and doubt that. And while Elvis had quite a lot of it, the Pistols had some but not much. If Jones had tried to compile a top-fifty list of their songs, how far would he have got? After two quite similar-sounding numbers he’d have been noisily scraping the bottom of the barrel – or the charred surface of the empty pan in which they made their flash. 

Elvis was an inordinately gifted man. You can either resent him for that or surrender to the tractor beam. Watch him perform: it’s almost impossible not to like him, even if you don’t consider yourself a fan. He got his whole personality into the way he sang a song. This knack faded as he got older and sicker and less committed, but it never entirely went away. In June 1977, in the middle of his generally lamentable final tour, the King sat down at his piano and delivered an uncanny do-or-die rendition of “Unchained Melody.” The performance was filmed, and can be watched on YouTube. It’s a hauntingly human piece of footage. Peter Guralnick, in Careless Love, the second and final volume of his compelling Elvis biography, calls it a moment of “grotesque transcendence.” Elvis is only two months shy of death; it might not be going too far to say he’s dying already. But he’s putting everything he's got left into the song. You can see it in his melting face. He’s going for the big notes, and he’s hitting them. He’s nailing it, one last time. And as he does, something surreal happens. His younger face triumphantly reappears, surging forward through his fat-mask like a special effect. 

A lot of things about Elvis have deservedly gone out of style now – the jewel-encrusted jumpsuits, the use of Thus Spake Zarathustra as walk-on music, the way he turned off the TV by shooting it with a pistol. No doubt we should thank punk for accelerating the evolutionary process by which the King's late excesses have come to strike us as ridiculous. But after we sweep those inessentials aside, something about Elvis endures. Not just something: the main thing. The lingering spirit of punk would like us to feel awkward about calling this thing by its proper name, but there are times when we mustn’t be afraid to use the word greatness.